Isabelle Joschke: "Having fun and listening to myself helps me perform better"

I am so much more serene than four years ago! I feel better prepared, my boat too, my team is more experienced. I increased the pressure a bit earlier in the season when the job list still seemed endless, and now I am surprised to savour the last few weeks. I think you have to trust yourself, it’s going well and it’s great. 

At no point did I say to myself “I need a second one”. It so happens that my sponsor offered me the chance to go again quite quickly after my first Vendée Globe, which I had finished out of the race after my keel problems and my forced stopover in Salvador de Bahia. I had to say yes or no then. The 2020 edition had been hard for me, I had a lot of breakdowns, the impression of having something happening to me all the time, a lot of stress. Honestly, the moments of pleasure were rare and I hadn’t had a great time. I didn’t know if I wanted to go back, but I knew that by saying “yes” things would be different because the team was already formed, that we could capitalise on the experience acquired. So I went for it.

Honestly, yes I have…… The whole year after the Vendée Globe, I was exhausted. And in 2022, the Vendée Arctique was once again a very difficult race for me. I surprised myself again by finding that it was a hard job to just live. Sailing can be difficult, but on an IMOCA with foils you don't realize how violent it is. I went through a lot of big difficult questions, I allowed myself to say "what if I didn't go". And then there were a lot of things that were starting to tire me out. You have to put on a brave face, grit your teeth but be authentic, I think I got a little lost in the middle of all that, and I forgot my reason for being.

From me! I said to myself: I'm doing it for me, to go to the end of my journey, my commitment, and not  drop out halfway. And above all, I allowed myself to say what I thought. That it was hard when it was hard, that I no longer put pressure on myself with regard to certain demands when I did not find them justified. I want to be less constrained, and decide to be myself.

Yes, I allowed myself to start from a blank page. To tell myself "We'll see what happens, no pressure". And in the end, I had great results, it was even more fun to experience, while I listened to myself more. On the Rétour à La Base for example, I read a lot about the first days of racing. Because I like it, and it did me good. At times, I told myself that it was a bit crazy to do that in competition , but actually having fun and listening to myself helps me perform better.

Yes, I really want to keep this approach. These last two years have allowed me to move forward internally on my journey, reposition why I am here, why I continue, to find the meaning of all this. These are projects that are so engaging that we sometimes forget it. Today I am super happy to set off again, whereas in 2021 I was maybe more on edge. It took me four years to digest my first Vendée Globe.

Four years ago, I had performed well in terms of the sport, especially in the Southern Ocean, and that made me proud of myself. This time, I want the same thing but without the pain it caused me, with the right distance, letting go, accepting that you can fail. I didn't accept failure so much that I was governed by it! I got rid of all my fantasies. I know that everything can stop again, that's how it is. But I also know that I would really like to reach the top 10, that I am capable of it. I know especially when I am in my place, and that's what counts.

When I had to abandon, I was in a big storm and I was mainly focused on my safety. Anger came later, I was very frustrated to have to give up because of a breakage that could have been avoided. At that moment, I only thought of one thing: leave my boat in port and return as quickly as possible to move on. But with my keel problem, I had to sail slowly, and that allowed me to think, and to understand that to do that was impossible for me. It was not the story I wanted to write, but it was even more stupid not to even finish it. It was not easy, but it was the choice which was the least bad.

There are lots of things that I screwed up four years ago! This time, I have made sure on the pouf, mattress, and blankets side, because I was so cold the last time! I had taken a blanket that was not breathable, so always damp, it was horrible and yet it was so avoidable. This time, I did the bare minimum so as not to lose too much energy! Paradoxically, however, I was super physically ready four years ago, I was much more muscular. Now I do physical preparation every day, but I focus more on vitality and energy resources at the start than on pure physical strength. And above all, I think I developed my resistance to stress, which I didn't have four years ago!

The day after rounding Cape Horn, I had just finished with a monumental storm. And suddenly, there was sunshine, flat seas, whales. I felt like I was living again, it was a moment of grace just when I no longer believed in it.